One of the most profound pieces I have recently read about Raising Teenagers is:
Teenagers Learn What They Live!
If teenagers live with pressure, they learn to be stressed,
If teenagers live with failure, they learn to give up,
If teenagers live with rejection, they learn to feel lost,
If teenagers live with too many rules, they learn to get around them,
If teenagers live with too few rules, they learn to ignore the needs of others,
If teenagers live with broken promises, they learn to be disappointed,
If teenagers live with respect, they learn to honour others,
If teenagers live with trust, they learn to tell the truth,
If teenagers live with openness, they learn to discover themselves,
If teenagers live with natural consequences, they learn to be accountable,
If teenagers live with responsibility, they learn to be self-reliant,
If teenagers live with healthy habits, they learn to be kind to their bodies,
If teenagers live with support, they learn to feel good about themselves,
If teenagers live with creativity, they learn to share who they are,
If teenagers live with caring attention, they learn how to love,
If teenagers live with positive expectations, they learn to help build a better world.
In today’s complex world raising a teenager is far tougher than previous generations. Earlier generations taught teenagers not to question the authority of the parents. Hence, today teenagers will question the authority of the parent at each step.
Today parenting, especially when raising teenagers; is parenting by example. Thus, your teenager will follow what you do, and not what you tell them to do.
As a parent and a Psychologist who has counselled hundreds if not thousands of families in my career, I am sharing my seven recommendations for a healthy along with enriching relationship with your teenager:
Love them fiercely:
Love everything about them, the good grades, the foolish antics, their crushes, their heartbreaks, their ambitions, their goals, and also their dreams.
Listen and pay attention:
Pay attention to them, listen to what they have to say. Thus, put down your phone, shut down your laptop, hear them speak respectfully.
Say Yes more than No:
Encourage their dreams, but don’t be the person who is saying No. You can’t become a Professional Scuba Diver, or no, you aren’t capable of this. Be the “Yes” in their life. Thus, Support their dreams.
Say NO often:
Also, say no often enough to protect them from things that can harm them. Including, Friends and influences who will encourage them to drink and do drugs, indulge in unsafe sex or participate in any other acceptable activity.
Feed Them Well:
Also, this is the time when the foundation of their lifelong health is being laid. Hence, teach them to eat healthily, to eat nutritious food, and to build a healthy foundation. In conclusion, teach them about good nutrition.
Don’t sweat the small stuff:
Don’t worry about their dirty rooms or messy closets (unless it is becoming a health hazard). In the first place, listen to them, ask them how their day was, focus on the big stuff, and don’t waste your time on the little stuff.
Stand Back, and Enjoy the Magic:
Observe your teenager, if you have raised them well, they will be blooming into amazing adults. They have so much love, excitement and joy for life in them, allow them to experiment and become whom so ever they dream of becoming.
In conclusion, don’t forget that your teenagers are the greatest gift God has given you.
More About Dr. Prerna Kohli.
