The unfortunate reality is that young children irrespective of the social and economic strata of the parents are vulnerable to sexual abuse. Sometimes it is the most trusted person who abuses the child. Furthermore, there is a belief that girls are more vulnerable than boys, this too is a myth. Children who have been sexually abused carry scars throughout their life, and it generally needs extensive therapy to help them accept and move on from having their bodies violated. This article discusses how a parent can educate their child about toddler sexual abuse.
While, as a parent, you can’t be around your child 24×7, you need to take steps to educate your child at an early stage as to what is sexual abuse, how they need to recognize and how they need to bring it to your attention immediately. Just like you teach your child how to cross the road safely, or not play with matchsticks, in a similar and non-threatening manner you need to teach your children about sexual abuse.
The 7 points to remember in educating your toddler about sexual abuse are:
Talking about Sexual Abuse in not Taboo:
Make the conversation with your child non-threatening, easy and calm. Don’t be nervous or flustered when you explain sexual abuse to them. Don’t make them feel that talking about sex is dirty or a taboo.
Start talking to them about sexual abuse early:
At about the age of 2 years, it is time to start explaining them about sexual abuse. During their bath time, tell them that it is okay for the parents to help clean and see their private parts, but not for others. At an early age, the child should know that no one, including parents, should touch their private parts (what is covered by underwear) unless they are helping to clean them.
Teach them names for the sexual parts:
Just as we teach them “ear”, “nose”, “teeth” teach them “penis” and “vagina”. Teach them about the sexual organs of both the sexes, because the abuser may be of either sex. Frequently the abused girl child will complain about the stomach hurting, as she may not know the word for vagina.
Private Parts are Special:
Explain the difference to them between touching the private parts and cleaning them. They know the difference. Let them know that private parts are private and that they are not to allow anyone to touch theirs, or touch any other person parts, even if it feels tingly and good. Many times the abuser will make the child touch the abusers’ private parts.
Nobody can hurt them, including the private parts:
Explain to them that no one has the authority to touch or hurt their private parts, and if someone does so, they should tell you immediately.
Any secret is still a secret if share with you:
They should know that they can share any secret with you, and it still remains a secret. The abuser many times, tells the child that it is their secret and not to be shared with anyone else.
Tell them that you will believe them if someone is hurting them:
Build the confidence with your child that you will believe them. They won’t be in trouble if they tell you when one is hurting them.
In conclusion, don’t have this conversation in one long marathon session. These conversations around sexual abuse with your child need to be ongoing and reinforced frequently. Thus being provided in small snippets which they can understand and retain.
More About Dr. Prerna Kohli
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About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Kohli believes that “You can talk with a close friend or relative about what’s troubling you; but it’s not the same as professionally-trained experienced psychologist who knows exactly what kind of help you need.”
She is a 100 women Achievers Award Winner (2016) from the Honorable President of India, Shri Pranab Mukherjee.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a Clinical Psychologist, a Public Speaker, a Workshop Facilitator and a Holistic Practitioner. She offers Heart-based workshops and lectures that focus on Life Balance, Self-awareness and Inner Peace. Dedicated to sharing her knowledge and compassion with others, Prerna blends intuitive wisdom with solid understanding, creating a powerful holistic approach, specializing in the areas of Emotional change.
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a leading Psychologist in India and provides families, individuals, parents and children counselling on being happy.
