If you suspect that your husband is cheating, what are your options? In over 25 years of counseling, I have had the opportunity to counsel many couples where one spouse feels or finds out that the other spouse is cheating on them. This article is focused on wives who have cheating husbands.
Cheating can be of two types
Physical, where the husband is having a sexual relationship with another woman (or man)
Emotional, where the husband is having an emotional relationship with another person. The husband confides his emotions and is emotionally dependent upon the other person.
The third option is where the husband is both emotionally and physically involved with another person.
Different couples have different perspectives on their marriage. Some women feel that physical sexual relationships are immaterial and it is the emotional bonding that is more important. While other couples feel that emotional bonding is irrelevant and that the person is only committed to them physically.
Here are 7 things a woman should do if she finds out that her husband is cheating on her:
- Accept your feelings: Understand that there will be emotions such as hurt, anger, resentment, confusion which you need to process
- Don’t act in revenge: Many women will talk ill about their spouse or have an extra-marital affair themselves. These are counterproductive. The short term they may make you feel better, but in the long term, they harm in healing either for a future together or alone.
- Stay Healthy: Your body may react adversely, you make fall sick with the stress. Continue to eat right and exercise correctly.
- Avoid the blame game: Don’t blame yourself, your spouse or the third party. This is a zero-sum game
- Don’t involve the children: This is your problem between you and your husband. Involving your children will confuse them, scar them and potentially change their views on marriage, sex, and promiscuity.
- Think Relationally: Was this a one-time indiscretion, or is your husband promiscuous? Is this indiscretion worth ruining your relationship? Besides this incident, do you continue to love your husband? Do your financial, socially, and family issues make separation and divorce not practical?
- Seek counseling: You should certainly seek counseling from an experienced Psychologist. The is a life-altering incident. Your Friends and family are neither trained nor nonjudgemental in guiding you on such a sensitive issue. It is advised to seek counseling from a professional.
To learn more about Dr. Prerna Kohli click here
All images are courtesy Pixabay
