Dr Prerna Kohli

Dealing with A Family Rift

Relationships are complex, let alone when you work together and are under the constant scrutiny of media. We all are familiar with the news of duke and duchess of Sussex leaving their royal family duties, but we are unaware of their reasons to do so.

Just like common families, the royal family also goes through disputes and that can a cause rift between the family. In cases of utmost trouble, cutting family ties seems the only possible and helpful. While taking a breather can be helpful, it can also be damaging.

While the situation might seem helpless, you can reconnect and improve the relationships. A combination of maintaining a little distance for personal space and taking one step at a time to improve relationships is a good choice.

Dr Prerna Kohli, India's Topmost Psychologist explains how you can mend a family dispute
Dr Prerna Kohli, India’s Topmost Psychologist explains how you can mend a family dispute

Mending broken relationship

Before going onto rebuild the relationship, it is important to go back to the root cause of the problem and understanding what exactly happened and why. Try to understand the situation from the other person’s perspective and be empathetic.

Be ready to forgive

Often, a lot of time no one is wrong in a dispute. You need to ask yourself “do you want to be right or mend your relationship?”, you have to decide if you want to stick to your gun or accept the fact that this you will never agree upon. If you choose to accept the difference and forgive one another, you’ll be able to let go of the resentment and take those steps to heal the relationship.

Keep reaching out

It may be difficult but you might have to take the first step to initiate contact. Do not directly reside to face-to-face contact as it can be very triggering, rather at first try to connect through methods that are less intrusive like emails, letters, and calls.

Dr Prerna Kohli, India's Topmost Psychologist explains how you can mend a family dispute
Dr Prerna Kohli, India’s Topmost Psychologist explains how you can mend a family dispute

Start slow and meet in public

Just because you decided to meet does not mean that your relationship is okay now, it is an overwhelming process. Try and keep realistic expectations and go slow. Seeing your family in the household can be very triggering and might erupt some unexpected emotions like anger, resentment and sadness. Hence, prefer to meet in a public, like a coffee place, which is safe and offers a neutral environment.

Find a mediator

Sometimes you need a third person to help you in the healing process. This mediator could be a counselor, an impartial friend or relative. The mediator can help you communicate your feelings and opinions in a neutral environment and help you work through your feelings.

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