Dr Prerna Kohli

How to Maintain Intimacy in a Long Term Relationship or Marriage

[vc_row][vc_column][vc_column_text]Imagine a relationship without a fight, an argument, a disagreement, or an unresolved issue. That’s the goal, isn’t it? The initial honeymoon period has it all, the intensity of emotions and the desire, but with time, life happens, and days, months and years pass by in trying to resolve the day-to-day struggles every couple goes through. While intimacy may mean something different to each individual, the core idea is the same, to not feel unheard, alone, and undesired by your partner. You can fuel the flame of intimacy for many years to come by prioritizing it in your relationship. Here are some tips on how to keep the intimacy alive:

How to Maintain Intimacy in a Long Term Relationship or Marriage

  1. Make time for each other: Set aside quality time for just the two of you regularly. This could be a date night, a weekend getaway, or even just an evening at home with no distractions (and yes, that means putting your phones away for the night!)
  2. Two-way Communication: Talk to your partner about your feelings, desires, and needs. Share your thoughts and listen to theirs without judgment. Be present and engaged when your partner talks to you. Honest communication is the key to building intimacy.
  3. Be affectionate: Touch can be a nonverbal way to express emotions, such as comfort, support, and affection, and can help to strengthen the emotional bond between partners. When we touch our partner, we release oxytocin, also known as the “cuddle hormone,” which can promote feelings of closeness and bonding.
  4. Forget spontaneity – Schedule date nights!  Scheduling sex with your partner may feel awkward or unromantic, but it can be a helpful way to prioritize sexual intimacy in your relationship. Be willing to adjust your schedule if necessary, but make sure to find a time that works for both of you. Don’t make it feel like a chore: Remember that scheduling sex is about making time for intimacy, not about checking off a to-do list.
  5. Keep things exciting: Try new things together, whether it’s a new hobby, a new restaurant, or a new vacation destination. Surprise your partner with unexpected gifts or experiences Laughing and having fun together is an important part of keeping things exciting in a marriage.
  6. Emotional connection: Develop a strong emotional connection by being supportive, understanding, and empathetic towards your partner. Encourage your partner in all their goals and aspirations. Being a cheerleader for your partner can help build trust and deepen your connection.
  7. Maintaining an identity as an individual: While being in a close and committed relationship often involves some level of compromise and mutual influence, it is also essential to maintain a sense of self and individuality. Establishing healthy boundaries allows each partner to express their needs, preferences, and values without sacrificing their sense of self. This can help prevent feelings of resentment, suffocation, or loss of personal power.

As variable as these suggestions might be, the most optimal way to maintain intimacy in a relationship is best known by you and your partner. The core strength of companionship lies right where both individuals feel the strongest. The steering of a relationship needs to be mutually communicated, planned, rightly timed, emotionally balanced, and carefully trodden. The absolute best way to kick this off is to discuss all these aspects of intimacy with your partner.

 

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