The book “A course in Miracles” devotes an entire lesson on forgiveness. A Course in Miracles is one of the finest, if not the finest book on spirituality in recent times from the Western world. Forgiveness is the key to happiness. Forgiveness has been over the centuries considered to be a spiritual concept, taught in all the holy books, whether the Bible, the Bhagwad Gita or the Holy Qur’n.
In the Bible, it is said
“if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
In the Bhagwad Gita Vidura said:
” Forgiveness is a virtue of the weak, and an ornament of the strong“, he continues on to say “Turn your attention to forgiveness, sincerity, kindness, simplicity, truth” to attain happiness.
In the Holy Qur’n it is said
“whosoever forgives and makes amends, his reward is Allah” ( Qur’an 42:40). If you pardon [their faults], and forbear, and forgive- then, behold, Allah is Forgiving, [and] Merciful. Qur’an 64:14.
Today Forgiveness is considered to be a psychological concept. Forgiveness is “not condoning, excusing or forgetting what happened,” rather it is the decrease or elimination of “resentment or anger toward an offender,” which is replaced by “more positive feelings, thoughts, and behaviors” (Journal of Counseling and Development, 2008: Validating the Developmental Pathway of Forgiveness by Jeanette Knutson, Robert Enright, and Benjamin Garbers.)
Forgiveness is about self-interest because not forgiving is like consuming poison so that the other person suffers. Thus, forgiveness is about releasing your mind and emotions. The unforgiving mind is stuck in despair, hence for your own mental health and well-being, you need to forgive. Hence, to achieve happiness you need to forgive. To hold resentment is to allow someone else to live in your mind for free, to release this resentment you need to forgive.
Professor Sonja Lyubomirsky of the University of California, Riverside calls forgiveness “a shift in thinking” toward someone who has wronged you, “such that your desire to harm that person has decreased and your desire to do him good (or to benefit your relationship) has increased. Forgiveness, at a minimum, is a decision to let go of the desire for revenge and ill-will toward the person who wronged you.”
How do you decide if someone needs to be forgiven? The litmus test is, if you have a desire to seek revenge from some for the harm that they have done to you, then you need to forgive them.
