When someone you know dies of committing a suicide, it can be one of the scariest and upsetting experiences of your life. It is perhaps one of the worst ways of losing someone you love as it often leaves one with feelings of helplessness and guilt. Why someone commits suicide is hard enough for adults to understand and accept, and so explaining or talking about it to children becomes even more of a challenge.
The reasons why most adults tend to hesitate or avoid having conversations about death (especially suicide) with children are twofold. One, these conversations make us feel uncomfortable. Two, we feel protective abou them. Therefore, we are afraid of the kind of impact they might have on the child. However, sooner or later, depending on how prepared you feel you as well as the child are to have the conversation, you will have to have this conversation with your child.
Some guidelines to help you go about doing it are as follows:
- Use simple language and avoid euphemisms such as “he/she went to a better place”. Be factual.
- Be honest. Explain suicide the way you would any other kind of death. Just like any other form of death is caused by a physical problem, explain how suicide is a result of issues related to mental health, without any blaming or judgment.
- Alter your content based on the child’s age.
- Encourage questions and be prepared to answer a lot of them.
- Be prepared to handle a range of reactions (such as disinterest, numbness, aggression, distress or withdrawal).
Dr Prerna Kohli India’s Top Psychologist Talks about Talking to Children about Suicide - Give them time to process this new information and support them in this process.
- Reassure them about their security.
It is important to understand that talking about suicide does not increase the risk of it.
Instead, it makes one aware how important mental health is in one’s life. It also helps one recognize suicide as an outcome of an illness rather than an act of selfishness or irresponsibility. It encourages one to be vigilant and seek as well as offer help in time.
Among youth aged between 10-24 years, suicide is the second most leading cause of death. With mounting pressure of exams and competition with peers, suicides are on a rise. Therefore, it becomes all the more important to talk about it with your child, so that they know that they can discuss it with you anytime they want. Understanding of the mental health issues that lead one to commit suicide, will help children recognize what places them at risk and talk about it.
