Opening up about going through sexual abuse as a child or as an adult is very difficult. But, if someone is opening up about it to you, then you need to understand that the person is putting an immense amount of trust in you. Hence, it is important that you listen to them.
But, then the question arises, “What should I say to them?”
Hence, below are few tips on what to say to a sexual abuse victim:
Believe them:
It is already very difficult for the person to share this experience. But, when they do, most people don’t believe them. Hence, it is very important to believe what they are saying and sharing with you. You can simply say, “I believe you” if you are not able to find any words.
Acknowledge Them:
It is a very traumatic event for the victims. Thus, it takes double the amount of courage to fight their feelings of guilt and shame and talk about you. You should always acknowledge their courage and appreciate them for opening up. Hence, you could say to them, “I understand, it took a lot of courage from you to tell me about it”.
Remind them It’s Not their Fault:
The victims of sexual abuse have a tendency to blame themselves. They will constantly run the scenario in their head and think if they had not done the thing they have done. Hence, it is up to you to constantly remind them and tell them that it’s not their fault. It is never their fault, instead, it is the fault of the perpetrator and no one else’s. You can reassure them by saying, “It’s not your fault”, or “You didn’t do anything wrong“.
Appreciate their decision:
As mentioned earlier, it takes a lot of courage for them to trust someone. Hence, you should appreciate their decision that it is you they have decided to share with. Hence, you should be able to empathise with them and understand the horrific experience they have gone through. You can say, “I am here for you and I care about you, and ready to help in any way I can”.
Communicate Empathy:
People who are opening up to you are not seeking sympathy or your opinion. Hence, it is very important to empathise with them. They should know that you are able to understand them, rather than judging them. You can say, “This must be really tough for you” or “I understand what you are going through and thank you for sharing it with me and trusting me”.
While talking to someone who is sharing anything, it is very important that you provide an empathetic ear rather than judging them. Also, if you really care for them, then it is important that you support them in their decisions. But, if you feel they need professional help, you should encourage them to seek professional help.
Hence, if you or someone you know is facing mental health illnesses because of sexual abuse, please consult a mental health professional immediately.
