A marriage is made up of dreams and aspirations of two people. But, it is not always necessary that two people will always have their “happily ever after”. Sometimes, the marriage becomes a prison for both of the partners involved. Hence, divorce becomes the only solution. But, even after divorce, many times people go through a tough time. They go through grief, pain, sadness along with other negative feelings.
Thus, because of all this pain and grief, it becomes very difficult to move on. But, it is important to remind yourself that sooner or later you will get through this situation.
Hence, below are 7 tips on how to cope up after the divorce:
Face the Feelings:
Going through a divorce evokes a lot of feelings, including grief, relief, pain, anger etc. It is important to face these feelings instead of running away from them. Identifying and acknowledging these feelings is often painful, but it is necessary as well. If you ignore these feelings then it will only prolong the grieving process.
Don’t go through this alone:
As it is a harsh time, the tendency is always towards isolating yourself. Isolation will not help you in coping with your feelings. Thus, it is necessary to talk to someone. If you feel the need, then you can also talk to a therapist or a marriage counsellor.
Talk about the Feelings:
Talking about your feelings is difficult but it is necessary also. Talking about your feelings to people who are close to you, will help you in coping up with the feelings. Thus, people around you who know about your feelings will make you feel less alone. Alternatively, you can also start writing a journal where you can write about your feelings.
Give Yourself a Break:
After the divorce, it is very difficult to resume your daily activities or job at a normal pace. Thus, it is important to give yourself the break and time you need to heal. It is not possible that everyone can function at their 100% every time. Hence, don’t be too harsh on yourself if you are not able to work like you used to work before.
Moving on should be the desired end:
Talking about your feelings and sharing them is a big step forward. But, it is also important to not dwell on these feelings for too long. Thus, it is important to remember that the final goal is to move on rather than getting tangled within these feelings.
There is still a Future:
As mentioned earlier, a marriage is a bond of not just two people but, of their dreams, aspirations and hope for the future. Hence, after a divorce, these dreams of the future crumble down, which increases the sadness. But, it is important to remember that going through a divorce is not the end of the future. There will be new dreams and hopes which will take over soon.
Understand the difference between a normal reaction and Depression:
It’s very important to understand the difference between a normal reaction to a divorce and entering into a depressive phase. In the normal reaction, these feelings will slowly fade away, and you will move on. But, if you find nothing is changing, and these feelings aren’t going away, then it might be that you are entering into a depressive phase.
Going through a divorce is a very difficult period. Most of the times, it does lead to depression for either of the partners. Hence, if you or someone you know is going through a divorce, or suffering from depression because of the same, then please visit a mental health professional immediately.
Learn More about Dr Prerna Kohli
All images courtesy Pixabay
