Because you are grieving a real loss — of a partner, a shared future, and often a whole social world — even if leaving was clearly right. Divorce ranks as the second most stressful life event after the death of a spouse. Relief and grief can coexist; feeling the pain does not mean you made a mistake. It means you are human, letting go of something that once mattered.

Completely normal. Divorce is a loss, and loss brings grief — sadness, anger, guilt, numbness, and moments of unexpected longing, often in waves. You may grieve not just your ex-partner but the future you had imagined, and even people from their side of the family. Allowing yourself to mourn, rather than rushing to "be over it," is part of healing, not a sign you are failing at it.

This surprises many people. The process itself is loud and consuming — lawyers, family, decisions — and when it finally ends, the sudden quiet can feel like a vacuum rather than relief. That emptiness is normal and usually temporary. It helps to fill it gently and constructively: routine, connection, meaningful activity, and, where the low mood lingers, support from a counsellor.

Yes, and it is very common — even among people who are sure they made the right call. Doubt does not automatically mean the decision was wrong; it is often just grief and fear of the unknown talking. Give yourself time before drawing conclusions, and if the second-guessing is constant or distressing, talking it through with a psychologist can help you see the decision more clearly.

There is no fixed timeline, and it is rarely linear. For many people the sharpest pain eases over months, and a real sense of stability returns within a year or two, particularly with support — though grief can still surface at anniversaries or milestones long after. Be wary of pressure to "move on" quickly. Recovery is about rebuilding a life that feels like yours, at your own pace.

You do not have to be falling apart to benefit. Counselling gives the grief, anger, and self-doubt of divorce somewhere to go, so they do not quietly shape your health, parenting, and future relationships. It can help during the process — steadying you through the decisions — and afterwards, as you rebuild. Many people find the emotional support as valuable as the legal support.

A lawyer protects your legal and financial interests and handles the process; a divorce counsellor helps you cope with the emotional impact — grief, stress, self-doubt, co-parenting strain, and rebuilding afterwards. The two are complementary, not interchangeable. Getting the settlement right matters, but so does emerging from the divorce emotionally intact. You can read more about divorce counselling and how it supports you.

This is one of the loneliest parts of divorce, especially where there is stigma. People may react out of their own discomfort, loyalty, or beliefs rather than a real understanding of your situation. Seek out the people who can support you — even a few — and consider a counsellor as a neutral, confidential space. You do not owe everyone an explanation, and their disapproval does not make your decision wrong.

It can. As a major life stressor, divorce raises the risk of depression and anxiety, and sleep, appetite, and concentration often suffer for a while. That does not mean it will happen to you, and support makes a real difference. If low mood, worry, or hopelessness persist or deepen, please treat that seriously and reach out to a professional rather than pushing through alone.

Absolutely. For many people — particularly in unsafe, abusive, or profoundly unhappy marriages — divorce is the healthiest and bravest decision, and staying can cause far more harm than leaving. There is no virtue in enduring a marriage that damages you or your children. The emotional realities in this article are not reasons to stay; they are reasons to seek support so you can move through the process well.

Shield them from conflict, keep routines steady, and reassure them — repeatedly — that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents still love them. Avoid using children as messengers or confidants. Look after your own wellbeing too, since children take their cues from you. If a child seems to be struggling, professional support for them, alongside yours, can make the transition much gentler.