Dependency — on alcohol, prescription medication, substances, or compulsive behaviours — rarely begins as a choice. It begins as a way to cope, and hardens into a trap. It is not a moral failing or a lack of willpower, and it is treatable. Lasting change comes not from shame or sheer effort, but from psychological treatment that addresses what the behaviour is really doing for you.
Something that once offered relief, escape, or comfort gradually takes over — and by the time it is clearly a problem, the person is usually exhausted, ashamed, and convinced they ought to be able to stop on their own. They usually cannot, and that is not weakness; it is simply how dependency works. Dr. Prerna Kohli has worked with people caught in this pattern for over 30 years in Gurgaon, with an approach that is non-judgmental, structured, and focused on the psychological roots of the behaviour rather than only its symptoms.
What dependency looks like
Dr. Kohli works with the full range of dependencies:
- Alcohol dependency and problem drinking
- Prescription medication dependency — sedatives, painkillers, sleep aids
- Substance dependency — cannabis, stimulants, and others
- Behavioural compulsions — where the “substance” is a behaviour that has become impossible to control
Different as these look, the underlying pattern is the same: continuing despite clear harm, and being unable to stop despite genuinely trying.
India’s National Mental Health Survey found that alcohol use disorders alone affect roughly 4–5% of adults — and, like most mental health conditions in India, they carry a very large treatment gap, with the majority of affected people never receiving care (NMHS, 2015–16). Reaching out is the exception, not the rule — and it is precisely what changes things.
Why willpower alone fails
Willpower fails because dependency is not really about the substance — it is about what the substance is being used to manage: stress, anxiety, low mood, loneliness, boredom, or pain. Remove the substance without addressing the need beneath it, and the pull remains, waiting for the next hard day. This is also why shame is so counterproductive: it adds another painful feeling to the very pile the behaviour was numbing.
What getting better actually looks like
Effective treatment works from the other direction. It begins with understanding what the behaviour has been doing for you, then builds healthier ways to meet those same needs, treats any underlying anxiety or depression driving it, and reshapes the environment and routines that surround the habit. Crucially, it treats relapse as part of the process, not proof of failure — a slip is information to learn from, not a reason to give up. Recovery is rarely a straight line, but it is a real and well-trodden path.
When to reach out
If a substance or behaviour feels out of your control, if it is harming your health, work, or relationships, or if you have tried to stop and cannot, it is worth speaking to a psychologist. In India especially, the shame around dependency keeps people silent for years — but therapy is confidential, free of judgment, and it works.
If a dependency — or the shame around it — is weighing on you, confidential, non-judgmental help is available whenever you’re ready.
About Dr. Prerna Kohli
Dr. Prerna Kohli is a clinical psychologist with more than three decades of experience in private practice in Gurgaon. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and was honoured with the 100 Women Achievers of India award (2016) by the President of India. Consultations are available in-clinic in DLF Phase 3, Gurgaon, and online worldwide.