Narcissistic Abuse Counselling in India: Online and In Person
For partners, adult children and daughters-in-law who have spent years being told that the problem is them. Counselling that starts with your judgement, not theirs.
What is narcissistic abuse counselling?
Narcissistic abuse counselling in India helps partners, adult children and daughters-in-law who have lived with narcissistic or controlling behaviour recover their judgement, set boundaries that hold, and decide what to do next. Dr. Prerna Kohli offers individual sessions online from anywhere in the world and in person, without requiring the other person to attend.
Most people who come to me after years with a narcissistic partner or parent don't need to be told what to do. They need to trust their own mind again first. That's where we start.Dr. Prerna Kohli
You've probably arrived here after a long search. Not for a diagnosis, but for a word that explains why a relationship with someone who says they love you leaves you anxious, apologetic and unsure of your own memory. If the pattern you're living with keeps getting explained away as culture, duty or your own oversensitivity, this page is for you.
What narcissistic abuse looks like in Indian families
Narcissistic abuse is the term used for a sustained pattern of control, devaluation and manipulation by a person who needs to feel superior and cannot tolerate being questioned. In Indian families it rarely looks like the films. It looks like a husband who is charming at every wedding and contemptuous at home, a mother who keeps score of every sacrifice, or a mother-in-law whose "concern" decides where you go, what you wear and how you raise your children.
What makes it hard to name here is that so much of it can be filed under tradition. Adjusting is what a good wife does. Respecting elders means not answering back. Money is a family matter, which is why you don't have any of your own. Each of those ideas has an ordinary, healthy version. Narcissistic abuse borrows their language and uses it as cover.
The patterns people describe most often
- Public charm, private contempt. Relatives find them delightful. You're the one who ends up looking difficult to everyone else.
- Your reality gets rewritten. Conversations you remember clearly didn't happen that way. You start keeping notes, or you stop trusting yourself. If that sounds familiar, read Am I being gaslighted?
- The apology never comes. Every conflict ends with you soothing them, whatever they did.
- Control dressed as care. Where you go, who you see, what you earn and whether you get to keep it. Money is often the first freedom to go, and financial abuse hides easily inside a joint family.
- The family becomes a jury. Parents, siblings and in-laws are recruited to explain that you're overreacting.
- Love arrives on a schedule they set. Warmth when you comply, coldness when you don't, and the cycle keeps you working for the warmth.
- You've shrunk. Fewer friends, fewer opinions, fewer plans, and a constant low hum of being on guard.
One difficult person is not a diagnosis. Plenty of unhappy marriages involve no personality disorder at all, and the label matters far less than the pattern. If you're unsure what you're dealing with, read Is my partner a narcissist or just difficult? and the clinical guide to narcissistic personality disorder. Counselling can help with the effects on you in either case.
How narcissistic abuse affects you
Living with sustained narcissistic abuse changes how your mind works, and the changes are predictable enough that most people recognise themselves when they hear them described. The first is the fog: difficulty thinking clearly, remembering accurately or deciding anything without second-guessing. The second is hypervigilance, a state of constant scanning for the next mood shift. The third is self-doubt so deep it starts to feel like personality.
The scale of it, in numbers
Sources: Day, Bourke, Townsend and Grenyer, Journal of Personality Disorders (2020), n = 683, self-selected sample; National Family Health Survey 5, India, 2019–21; Stinson et al., Journal of Clinical Psychiatry (2008), NESARC Wave 2, n = 34,653, US adults, with the revised-criteria estimate from Trull et al. (2010). Population figures come from the countries named and are used for scale, not as an equivalence with any one reader's situation.
Then there's the body. Sleep goes. Appetite goes one way or the other. The headaches, stomach trouble and exhaustion that follow are real, not imagined, and many people are treated for anxiety or depression for years before anyone asks what's happening at home.
None of this means you're weak, and none of it has to be permanent. It means a normal nervous system has adapted to an abnormal situation. That adaptation is exactly what counselling works on, and in my experience it responds well once the pattern has a name.
Who this counselling is for
This counselling is for the person on the receiving end, whatever their relationship to the person showing the pattern. It's individual work, and it doesn't require the other person to attend, to agree, or even to know.
The partner who is staying, for now
Because of children, money, family, or simply because you're not ready. Counselling here is about safety, sanity and strategy: how to stop the pattern running through you, how to protect your judgement and your health, and how to build the practical and emotional footing that makes any later decision yours.
The partner who is leaving, or has left
Leaving a narcissistic partner is rarely clean, and the months after can feel worse than the years before. We work on the withdrawal, the doubt, the smear campaign among relatives, and co-parenting if there are children.
The adult child
If you grew up with a narcissistic parent, you may have spent a lifetime managing their moods and calling it love. We look at the guilt, the roles you were given, and how to stay in contact, if you want to, on terms that don't cost you yourself.
The daughter-in-law, or the son-in-law
A narcissistic in-law can run a household from the next room. This work is often about your marriage as much as the in-law: how to get your spouse standing beside you rather than between you, and what to do when they can't. In-law interference and a bullying mother-in-law are covered in their own guides.
People with a narcissistic boss or business partner come too. The mechanics are similar, and the toll on confidence is just as real.
What narcissistic abuse counselling involves
Counselling for narcissistic abuse with me is structured, individual and paced to your situation. The early sessions are about understanding what you've been living with. The middle is about getting your own mind back. The later work is about decisions, and life after them. Here's how it usually runs.
- A first session that takes you seriously. You describe what's happening in your own words. I listen for the pattern, not for proof, and I don't need the other person's side of the story to help you.
- Naming the pattern. We map how the abuse actually works in your household: the cycle, the triggers, the relatives who get recruited, and the ways it has trained you to respond. Seeing it laid out changes how it feels in the room.
- Rebuilding your judgement. This is the core of the work. Reality-testing, learning to notice manipulation as it starts, and separating what you feel from what you've been told to feel. It's the part people describe as getting themselves back.
- Boundaries that fit your life. Not a script. Boundaries that work inside a joint family are different from the ones that work across a divorce, and we build the ones that will hold in yours.
- Decisions, if and when you want them. Stay, leave, limit contact, renegotiate: I don't push in any direction. I help you decide with a clear head, then support you through whatever the decision brings.
A few things this counselling is not. It isn't couples therapy with the person showing the pattern; where there is coercive control or intimidation, joint sessions tend to become another arena for control, and whether joint work is ever appropriate needs individual assessment first. It isn't a diagnosis of someone who isn't in the room; I can help you understand a pattern without labelling a person I've never met. And it isn't a campaign to get you to leave. People who are pushed out of marriages before they're ready often go back, and then blame themselves twice.
When the problem was never her cooking
A woman in her thirties came to me convinced she was failing as a wife. Her mother-in-law corrected her in front of guests, controlled the household money and reported her "attitude" to her husband every evening, and her husband asked her to adjust. She had stopped seeing friends and had begun to doubt her own memory of arguments.
Over several months of individual sessions we mapped the pattern, rebuilt her confidence in her own perception, and prepared the conversation she needed to have with her husband. He later came for sessions of his own. The household did not transform, but her place in it did: she stopped auditioning for approval that was never going to come, and her marriage became a partnership again.
Composite illustration; not a real client.
Online and in person
Sessions are available online from anywhere in the world and in person at my clinic in Gurugram. Many people recovering from narcissistic abuse choose online, often for a specific reason: it can be done privately, from an office, a parked car or a friend's home, with far more privacy from others at home.
Online sessions run on secure video between 9:00 AM and 8:00 PM Indian time, seven days a week, which covers evenings in the Gulf, mornings in North America and most of the working day in the United Kingdom, Europe and Singapore. Clients in India and abroad book the same way. If you're an NRI managing a narcissistic parent from another country, or a partner who has returned to India after a marriage abroad ended, distance is not a barrier to this work.
Confidentiality is taken seriously, and the practical side matters as much as the professional one: use your own device, your own email and a space where you won't be overheard. If you're not sure how to arrange that, say so when you book and we'll plan it together.
Fees and how to book
Sessions are ₹6,000 for 30 minutes, ₹10,000 for 60 minutes and ₹15,000 for 75 minutes. Which length suits you is agreed on WhatsApp before your first session, so there are no surprises. There are no bundles or advance-payment plans; you pay per session and continue only as long as it's helping. Clients abroad can pay from their own bank or card, and the details are shared when you book.
If you're weighing the cost, why psychologists charge what they do and what marriage counselling costs in India explain how fees work and what you're paying for.
To book, message on WhatsApp or use the booking page. Tell me in a line or two what's going on. You don't need the right words, and you don't need to be sure it's narcissistic abuse.
Start with one conversation
Confidential individual sessions with Dr. Prerna Kohli, online from anywhere in the world or in person. The other person doesn't need to attend, agree, or know.
Message on WhatsApp Book a SessionWhen to get help urgently
If you are in immediate physical danger, contact your local emergency services or get to a person you trust who is physically near you. If living with this has left you with thoughts of harming yourself, please seek professional help immediately and tell someone close to you today. Counselling can wait a day. Your safety can't.
Questions people ask before booking
Can counselling change a narcissist?
Sometimes, gradually, and only if they want it. People with narcissistic personality disorder can improve in psychotherapy, but the evidence base is limited and change is slow, and people with strong narcissistic traits rarely seek therapy for the narcissism itself; they come for depression, anger or a marriage in crisis. This page is about counselling for the person living with them, which doesn't depend on the other person changing at all. Your recovery is not held hostage to their insight.
Do I have to leave the relationship to get better?
No. Many of the people I work with stay, for reasons that are entirely valid: children, finances, family, or simply not being ready. Counselling while staying focuses on protecting your judgement, your health and your relationships outside the marriage, and on building the footing that keeps any future decision yours. Leaving is one option among several, and it is never a condition of getting help.
Can I attend without my spouse or family knowing?
Yes. Sessions are individual and confidential, and online sessions can be taken from wherever you have privacy, whether that's an office, a parked car or a friend's home. Many clients prefer this precisely because the person they live with monitors them. When you book, tell me about your situation and we'll plan the practical side together, including how and when it's safe to contact you.
Is this couples counselling?
No, and deliberately so. Where there is coercive control or intimidation, joint sessions tend to become another arena for control, and the partner on the receiving end often leaves them feeling worse; whether any joint work is appropriate needs individual assessment first. If your spouse later wants to do their own work, that can be arranged separately. For most people the useful sequence is individual counselling first, then a clear-headed decision about whether any joint work makes sense.
How many sessions will I need?
It varies, and I'd be wary of anyone who gives you a number before meeting you. Some people come for a few sessions to make sense of what they've been living with; others work for months, especially through a separation or while managing a narcissistic parent. You pay per session, nothing is bundled, and we review together as we go whether it's still helping.
Is it confidential from my family?
Yes, within the ethical and legal limits every psychologist works under, which mostly concern a serious and immediate risk to someone's life, and which are rare. Nothing you say is shared with a spouse, parent or in-law, and I won't confirm to anyone that you are a client. In practice the bigger risk to confidentiality is at home, which is why we plan the practical side of online sessions carefully.
Can I book from outside India?
Yes. Clients in the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, the Gulf countries, Singapore and elsewhere work with me online, and I work regularly with NRI clients. Sessions run between 9:00 AM and 8:00 PM Indian time, seven days a week, which fits most time zones with a little planning. Payment from abroad is simple and explained when you book.
What if I'm not sure they're a narcissist?
You don't need to be sure, and you don't need a diagnosis to book. Most people arrive with a pattern, not a label, and the pattern is what we work with. If it turns out you're dealing with a difficult person rather than a personality disorder, the work still helps, because the effects on you are what we treat. Diagnosing someone who isn't in the room is not something I do.
My problem is a narcissistic mother-in-law, not my husband. Is this still for me?
Yes. In Indian households a narcissistic in-law can shape every part of a marriage, and the work often involves two relationships: the in-law, and the spouse who is caught in the middle. We look at boundaries that can survive a joint household, at what to do when your husband won't act, and at when it's time for him to come for sessions of his own.
I grew up with a narcissistic parent. Is it too late to do anything about it?
It isn't. Adult children of narcissistic parents often arrive well into adulthood, when a marriage, a child or a parent's illness brings the old pattern back to the surface. The work is about guilt, the roles you were assigned, and how to stay in contact, if you choose to, without going back to being managed. Many of these clients are NRIs handling parents from a distance.
What if I'm in danger?
Then counselling comes second. If you are in immediate physical danger, contact your local emergency services or reach a person you trust who is physically near you. Once you're safe, counselling can help you plan what comes next, including how to manage a partner or family member who escalates when challenged. Tell me about any risk when you book so we can plan the sessions safely.
Does Dr. Kohli diagnose the other person?
No. A diagnosis of narcissistic personality disorder requires a full assessment of the person themselves, and it is neither ethical nor useful to label someone I have never met. What I can do is help you recognise a pattern, understand how it works and respond to it. For most clients that distinction matters less than they expect: the pattern is what hurts, and the pattern is what we treat.
Related reading
The pages people read alongside this one:
- Narcissistic personality disorder: signs, causes and treatment, the clinical guide behind this page.
- Is my partner a narcissist or just difficult?, for when you're not sure what you're dealing with.
- Am I being gaslighted?, on the rewriting of your reality.
- When your mother-in-law is a bully, the in-law version of the pattern.
- In-law interference in an Indian marriage, and what it does to a couple.
- Signs your spouse is a bully, when control is louder than charm.
- What to expect in your first session, if you've never seen a psychologist before.